the end of the road…

Posted on Sunday 26 November 2006

How do couples decide when to get a divorce? Even though the term is out of vogue in legal circles, "irreconcilable differences" still aptly describes the conditions that lead to the end of things. Former generations were more likely to "stay the course," more from necessity, inertia, or rigid morality than from some kind of conscious decision-making process. It’s hard to look back at something that seemed like such a good idea at an earlier time, and realize that it was a mistake.

How do you decide when to fold a poker hand? It’s a little more scientific. But it’s the essence of the game. Like the song says, "You got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em, Know when to walk away and know when to run." The loser is the one who holds onto bad cards because he’s already bet too much on the draw, or lost too much on earlier hands. It’s hard to look back at something that seemed like such a good idea at an earlier time, and realize that it was a mistake.

How do you decide when to drop a lawsuit? That’s a tough one for most people. They sued because they knew that they were the victim of an injustice, but as things procede, it always turns out to be more complicated than it looked like it was going to be. And there are lawyers fees that have been paid along the way. And there’s that human drive to be "right," to prove the other person "wrong." It’s hard to look back at something that seemed like such a good idea at an earlier time, and realize that it was a mistake.

How do you decide to get out of a war? For a lot of reasons, this seems to be one of the hardest things of all to quit. Maybe because lives have been lost. Maybe because the leaders who decided to go to war almost always fall from power. But maybe because wars always have something to do with groups of people. And groups are never more defined and cohesive than when there’s a common enemy. And there’s that human drive to be "right," to prove the others "wrong." It’s hard to look back at something that seemed like such a good idea at an earlier time, and realize that it was a mistake.

In Iraq, it’s time… 

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