1 Boring Old Man

What a wonderful tribute to Mickey.Thank you for sharing with us.

Thanks for sharing it, will watch it when I can later this week. While Dr N was the mensch, I have decided not my path, so I will fight for the cause a bit more harsh than others are comfortable promoting.

Accountability and consequences for doing harm to patient care is the endpoint, I would hope most colleagues will agree. There’s the path I sense Dr N tried to pave, hopefully those who follow his trail have success. As hopefully so will I, just not so primrose, eh?

Even weeds have some pretty flowers, as well some efficient purpose we don’t appreciate at moment one…

Thank you for sharing! I’ve listened to the beginning, but had to pause and think. Yesterday’s film in Oslo and your sister-friend Caitlin’ words on grief, really your dad’s words to whoever listens, open me to strong emotions, healthy and somewhat exhausting. To spread the word that your dad’s work is progressing and sprouting in foreign film and soil, I link once more to the film to which the American producer Andrew Grant said your dad contributed immeasurably to research, duly credited at the end of the film, which pleased me a lot, as I did not know this on beforehand, and was glad I noticed. https://www.facebook.com/CauseOfDeathUnknown/?fref=ts

I’ll check it out. I know several of you wanted to come, so this is the next best thing.

Abby, could you please post the words Caitlin read which were based on an email she got from Mickey after her brother died? The words about grief??

Sure! I just happen to have them in an email she shared with me.

There was something I wanted to say. Over the years, I’ve realized that I don’t believe in “recovery.” I can’t get beyond the word “cover.” I don’t even know what recovery means anymore. When people have a show-stopping, life changing event, one that alters things forever, it is henceforth the most important thing that ever happened in life – a daily companion. In my work, the problems I saw came from the covering. And a part of the burden is carrying a knowledge that’s true, but one that others are able to ignore. Things can change forever in a heartbeat, never to be the same again – irredeemable. If it happened in the past, it can happen in the future. Only people who have learned that kind of finality through personal experience really know about it, and it colors the rest of time. It’s a painful truth that others don’t want you to feel – benevolently, because they can see it’s a painful knowing – but they don’t understand that it’s hardly a choice.

What’s supposed to happen in grief is that you get back what you lost, but inside – as pleasant memories, as shared experience, as safety, as structure, and as a template for what relationships with others can be and what love means. I don’t want my absence to remain a painful absence for you. You’ve had enough of that for several lifetimes. What I want for you is that I become a comforting presence that is with you every single day. That’s what’s supposed to happen.

Love,

Mickey

Thank you for sharing this, Abby. I really miss him.