1 Boring Old Man

Long ago and far away, I was a 21 year old, second year medical student. It was 1964 and my politics were embroiled in our Southern Civil Rights Movement, my strong aversion to the Viet Nam War, and I was still grieving the murder of JFK. I was going to vote for the first time in my life [it was 21 back then]. It’s hard to remember all of what was happening inside of me in those ancient times, but I ended up voting for Barry Goldwater, voting Republican, for one of the few times in my life. The others were mistakes – voting against Democrats who were crooks [like Herman Talmadge].

That vote was so unlike me. Here are the things I recall thinking about. The biggest one was thinking that Johnson was a crook and a bully. I thought that Kennedy had picked him to get some votes, southern votes, that he would have lost otherwise, or because of Johnson’s skill as a Congressional politico, but it sure wasn’t because of Johnson’s moral fiber. I remember reading Conscience of a Conservative and thinking that Goldwater was a pretty good thinker, though I wasn’t taken with his thoughts so very much. I thought he would support the Movement. I recall Goldwater saying we ought to either win in Viet Nam or get the hell out. I liked that second choice. I liked that he was a combat veteran.

But mostly, my intuition was that he was an honest man. I did not think Johnson was an honest man. In fact, I thought he was a dishonest man. My new girlfriend in the following year almost decided not to date me when she found out I voted for Goldwater [we just had our 40th anniversary]. She has told that story endlessly, until last year when she read Johnson’s biography. Vindicated at last!

It’s funny to me now. I’ve been careful not to talk about that vote except with very good friends, because it’s so uncharacteristic – but deep down, I’m proud of it. It was an intuition, based on Character – sort of a Conscience of a Liberal vote. I’m glad I voted that way. The other times I voted for Republicans, it was a vote against the weak Character of a Democratic incumbant – a mayor in Memphis who had a severe mental illness and was a crook when he was compos mentis, and Herman Talmadge who was at the end of his alcoholic skid. In both cases, the Republican I voted for was horrible. So I made a rule to never vote "against" some one – just don’t vote if there’s no one to vote for.

So I didn’t vote for Al Gore in 2000. He’d stuck with Clinton in the Monica madness too long for my tastes. I sure didn’t vote for George Bush. I just didn’t vote in the Presidential race [my only time]. I am ashamed of that – big time. I was on a moral high horse [and privately thought Gore was a shoe in]. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’d love to have a chance to vote for him now. So much for the not_voting_against_someone rule. When Kerry ran, I was not in love with him. It wasn’t his platform. I’m still not sure what it was. But I sure voted "for" him "against" George W. Bush [I would have voted "for" almost anyone "against" George W. Bush].

My point?  I’m not sorry that I’ve voted counter to my politics a few times – voted Character instead. I hope there are a lot of people who do the same thing this time – Conservatives, Christians, traditional Republicans. I worry when the bloggers I read or people who think like I do identify themselves as Democrats. I’m not a Democrat. I’m a person who usually votes for Democrats. I hope there are a whole lot of Republicans or people who usually vote for Republicans who vote Character, or who vote Constitution, or who vote "against" bad policies, or who just withhold their vote if that’s all they can bring themselves to do. Were I a Republican, I think I’d even vote "against" a Congressional incumbant who voted consistently with Bush, even if I liked him or her otherwise.

It’s just one of those times…