1 Boring Old Man

I remember my own encounter with this idea from a long time ago – the years between 1967 and 1971. In 1967, I was an Intern. We all expected to be drafted, and if there were people excited about that, I never met them. I don’t recall much discussion about the War itself, or even much attention to politics. That’s just not what we talked about. We talked about medical things and had really intense parties to let off steam.

But my wife and I talked about it some. I was deferred through my residency, so I didn’t have to go into the military in 1968 and off to Viet Nam like all of my friends. As the years passed, my wife and I became increasingly opposed to that war. I had a hell of a time sorting that out. I felt morally opposed to the war, but I also felt "patriotic," if that can be a feeling. My father grew up an immigrant with parents who had come to Ellis Island to escape starvation. During World War II, he was a chemist in a TNT Plant. I think I grew up thinking he was a draft dodger, but that wasn’t true. That’s where he was assigned. All my friend’s fathers had been "over there" and I was kind of jealous. The idea of not fighting in Viet Nam for the country that opened its arms to my grandparents was abhorrant. My wife said that if I didn’t want to go, we should go to Canada. I said that I was not going to be run out of My country. If they wanted me to serve my country in prison, that’s what I’d do. We were young then.

As things turned out, I was not assigned to Southeast Asia, and spent a delightful three years on an Air Force base in England, a pretend Major occasionally arguing with career Captains about the war. Like my father, I was never confronted with combat through no effort of my own. I came to think of my dilemma as lose-lose-lose. I served, but not really. I think by the time push came to shove, if I’d been assigned to Viet Nam I probably would have gone – but I’ll never know. Even that wouldn’t have solved my struggle. At the time, I was an Internist, a non-combatant. I would have used that to rationalize my objections to the war, "I went, but I didn’t fight." What I now know is that my internal conflict was unresolvable. There were three choices. I could feel like a coward who ran. I could feel like a coward who betrayed my principles. Or I could feel what I do feel – like a coward who didn’t face the dragon and make an active decision. I have always wished that I’d been alive to have this dilemma about World War II and Nazi Germany – My country, right…"

I included Chesterton’s quote, "My country, right or wrong is like saying, my mother, drunk or sober," for a reason. Sticking with a drunk mother is now called "enabling." It’s seen as supporting the illness instead of a cure. And his analogy is a good one. And while I can still feel the power of Decatur’s original quote, Senator Schurz wins the day for me with, "Our country, right or wrong. When right, to be kept right; when wrong, to be put right." I remember those years, my late twenties, when some version of this conflict was on the side of my mind every single day, even if I didn’t talk about it. Those were the years when I was most capable of addressing this question. Those were the years that shaped the political life I’ve lived. Even though I quip, "We were young then," I know that it was people like me and my wife then who should have decided about that war. And I think it’s true now. What brings these musings up? Watching this video and remembering what the looks on the faces of these soldiers felt like. It was like looking in a mirror and seeing my own past.